Dear Mother, with love

Dear Mother,

I saw something really nice, really touching on Facebook recently. "Celebrate your birthday with your mother; it's her special day too."

It's been months since I last spent some time with you. Months since I last heard your voice across the room. My third consecutive birthday spent without your loving embrace has left me feeling shallow and empty, and for the third time, I'm busy living this life of mine as everyone else is spending the day with their mothers, celebrating Mother's Day. 

Gosh, it makes me feel so empty.

You'll remember this; when I was five or six, I had this little soft toy which was surprisingly a Manchester United mascot. That memory recently came to mind, the exact moment I asked you, 'What's his name?' and you replied, 'Let's call him Chester.' 

That was one of the many times I had looked to you for an answer to any and every little curiosity I had, and every moment with you, knowing that you were there if I ever needed you, I grew. I became a better person because of you, how you would hold my hand when I crossed the road, how it came upon me years later to hold your hand to help you cross the road too. Those mornings you made us breakfast even though cooking was never your biggest passion, and the other mornings when I made you scrambled eggs and baked beans just because I didn't know any better. Those afternoons you spent sitting me down and teaching me numbers, and those afternoons that you would mail me a document to help you make a project out of, all of those moments. 

Even those days when you would book your flight for work and I'd hug you goodnight the night before, and then those nights when you would fuss over my luggage as I packed to fly off the next morning. Also, those moments that you'd scold me for one thing or the other, and I would try to make it up to you by buying you little snacks and drinks whenever I got out of the house. 

It's been three years now since I called another apartment my home. I miss waking up to you walking in loudly, telling me I'm sleeping too much. I miss sending you a text message to tell you I'll be late in coming home. I also miss your incessant worrying about my homework, and God knows just how much I miss you.

So much has changed in me in my time being away from you. We had dreams, dreams that I will achieve a certain career and path in life, and you worked so goddamn hard to get me there, at least as far as you could with your two hands. I've found passions for so much more now, and I know that in more ways than one I would be disappointing you, going against what you had by default expected of me. But nevertheless, you have never failed in showing your support. You've always given me that push to go further, achieve more and just be happier, and through my darkest times and not, you've been the wind beneath my wings, forever lifting me higher. Without all that you've taught me, without all your cheer and without all your love, I wouldn't be even close to where I am now, and today, I would like to celebrate all that I am as appreciation for all that you've made me into. 

Mother's Day isn't only a celebration of the amazing women like you, Mum. It's a day we celebrate how much you've done for al of us that call you mother. It's a day we celebrate the sanctity of love in its most honest and overpowering form, a love born even before two souls look into each other's eyes. It's also a day to appreciate the very breath you're taking now because you are here on this world because of someone, or in some cases even if the mother that raised you isn't the one that gave you life, you're alive and well, stronger than you ever were, standing tall and proud because of the love of a mother. 

Mummy, you mean the world to me. My destiny looks bumpy, with a lot of things that you would have wished I'd done differently, but I'll always strive to make you proud.

Dear Mum, 

I've made it so far, I'm living my dream. 

I hope you're proud of me.

I love you,

Your son, and your biggest fan,

Axam